Saturday, May 15, 2010

78. Appropriate Emotional Response: A Beginner's Guide (Broadcast - Live "Black Sessions"; Microtonics vols. 1 and 2)

*Gestures, in medium shot, towards well-lit jewelry display case, in which SUBJECT is fondly rummaging about*

This one *points to gently faceted pink pill* is for sleeping that special Sleep of the Just. Oh, and next to it, that's for waking up without fear of the previous night. They go hand in hand, that's why they're next to each other.

Yeah, every pill corresponds to an emotional response. and you know, people seem to have, uh, a lot of them, emotional responses. So I carry a lot of these with me, and while my emotional response reaction time might be a little, uh, behind, I can... you know, respond with the best of them. Eventually.

This one is great. *Picks up a gray pill with tiny neon green lettering* This one, I don't know if it ever got to the market, but I got it off the internet, pretty rare. It gives you the feeling that maybe you're taking too many pills. A nagging feeling. Specialized but just the thing at, uh, at times. *Looks at pill for a moment before swallowing it*

77. How I Found God (Daniel Higgs - Ancestral Songs)

I just torrented God. I'm, like, dicking around on the pirate bay, right? And there's this one torrent, it's like, 180 GB or something, and it's called, "NEATO." Well, why not? It don't cost nothing. So I start dl-ing the thing and promptly forget about it. Well, fast forward about a year or something, last week it was a year or something, I remember this old laptop I stuck behind the bed, and it's been downloading this shit all the while and it says "download complete." So I just run the .exe file, cause I forgot I even had the damn laptop so who cares if it fucks up and it sets up. Takes a while. And while the installer bar is getting longer the power is going wiggy and there's lightning and shit. Real fucked up. So it installs and I run it and the command prompt box comes up! That's it! Well, whoop de fuckin do! But then I see that instead of "command prompt" on the little bar, it says "GOD." Alright, I'm not a sucker, I'm the world's biggest sucker. So, for kicks, I just type in 'dir,' right? And fuck me if the name of everyone in the world starts going past, superfast but I, like, somehow know every name as it goes by. Like, I know it's the name of everyone in the world. So that finishes up and I'm like, fuck man, so I make an onion sandwich and come back and I'm macking on this sandwich and I remember Lou Appich, this little fucking weasel rich kid who made my life hell in high school. And he would get his dick sucked because he had a cool car cause his dad had like a Jaguar dealership or some shit. And he would always come by with his posse and take my lunch. Wouldn't even eat it, just take it and spit on it and throw it in the trash. So I'm looking at this GOD prompt and I type 'del lou appich\dick.' That'll teach that fucker. So I forget about it and then I'm watching the news and the guy says "first up: local car salesman loses dick in firearms accident" and I look at my laptop and the fucker is fucking LEVITATING and motherfucker, it is a hell of a life.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

76. Top Autonomous Zones for the Week of May 2-9, 2010 (Harry Pussy - In an Emergency You Can Shit on a Puerto Rican Whore)

1) when miss ulrich was sick and the school forgot to get a sub so the janitor sat in for her

2) back of jeff's station wagon (fifth week running)

3) 1052 alameda avenue until the pigs showed up

4) this scenic overlook.

5) penny landsman's uterus (not confirmed)

75. Two- Car Funeral (Tod trauer Trapani - Field Recordings of Sicilian Funeral Bands during the Holy Week)

Jim is setting up a two-car funeral.

"How many cars do we need," he asks.

"Two," I say.

"But there's three mourners," he says.

"One car for the corpse, one car for the mourners," I say.

"Isn't that three cars," he says. I notice he hums quietly after every sentence.

"Two cars," I say.

"But they're wearing formal clothes," he says.

"They'll fit. Jesus," I say.

"So, three cars it is. Say, whose funeral is this," he asks.

"Yours," I say, picking up a hammer.

74. Grapevines (Freakwater - Old Paint)

"Jesus said, 'A grapevine has been planted away from the father. Since it is not strong, it will be pulled up by its root and will perish."-The Gospel of Thomas verse 40, translated by Marvin Meyer

When I came home from work, they were just finishing up. The panel van says KI Landscapes and has a sticker on the bumper that says "Free Soviet Jewry in Each Package." h, right, ha ha. And then I looked at the house.

They had taken the ivy down, ripped it right out of the stucco wall, leaving huge holes. We told em, trim it up, you know, don't wanna get too shaggy cause the neighbors might get restless. Well, they did that all right. The fucking plaster is falling out of these fucking POTHOLES in my house.

And the grapevines... we had planted the grapevines after Laura's second miscarriage. She said it might be good to get something living, something we could watch grow. I said fine, it would be a lot easier than having a kid around doing a Linda Blair act 24/7. I didn't say that last part aloud. So we got an arbor for the front walk and planted some concord grapes. I didn't have to water them so they were ok by me. And it had been a couple of years, a couple of desperate years and they too were getting shaggy so we asked KI Landscapes if they could, you know, trim em up. Cause you don't get any fruit unless it's on new growth.

So these fucking morons cut the loving grapevines down to nubs. And I know Laura is gonna say it's my fault... I walk over to the side yard and there's the guy, KI i guess, and his 12-year old son piling all our grapevines and grapes in a big heap.

"Hey," I started. The older guy grunted without looking up and the kid, some kid with a big-ass flop-mop of shiny black hair looks up and smiles.

"Y'all went a little far with the landscaping."

The older one gave a redneck version of the gallic shrug. I started to say something, when suddenly it hit me that there was fuck-all i could do, I couldn't fucking GLUE the fucking vines back. I reached for my wallet and handed the older guy the forty bucks, and he walked towards the front yard. He turned around before disappearing. "Kento, see if you can bring me them clippers."

I don't know why, but being left alone with the kid... maybe cause he can't fight back... I wanted to just break his face, just wipe that grin right off. I counted to ten, twenty, finally said, "You know, we've been growing those for a couple of years, and uh, they had a lot of grapes on em."

The kid picked up his dad's clippers and looked at the pile.

"All the grapes are still there," he said, pointing.

"Yeah. They are, I guess" I said.

They left and I wondered if i had enough time to go to the store for a quick beer and some mint gum before Laura came home. I was just starting to walk there when she pulled up. She looked at the house with horror.

"Hey honey. It's ok, honey" I said. "All the grapes are still there."

Monday, March 22, 2010

73. That Scene in Trainspotting (Underworld - Born Slippy Mixes)

Do you remember the scene in Trainspotting where Franco and Migs decide they are going to hold up an ice cream truck and they're planning the whole thing but Migs is getting progressively more fucked up on nutmeg and meanwhile Franco has decided to go shopping and he gets into a pointless fracas in the produce section of Sainsbury's and then he gets back to where Migs is and Migs is vomiting what smells like a brandy alexander into Franco's favorite fern and he (Migs) turns to Franco and says, "Ay, Franco, 'there is some married woman who will commit suicide in case her husband fails in business.' This evidently goes far beyond saying that if every married man fails in business some married woman will commit suicide. Yet note that since the Graph is on Metal it asserts a conditional proposition de inesse and only means that there is a married woman whose husband does not fail or else she commits suicide," and Franco says "och ay" and you think he's actually gonna be cool, like, open up to migs and not be such a "cunt" (a word that means something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in Wales which is where the movie is) but then he pulls a bottle of Buckfast fortified breakfast wine out of his cargo pants and drinks it and brains Migs because he (Franco) is an intractable asshole who can't over a darkie stealing his lucky string at recess when he was 8? Well, this was the song playing at the time (in the movie). And here are six mixes of that song for the next time you and your friends feel like recreating the scene in the privacy of your own apartment, squat, or Salvation Army dormitory.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

72. The Broadcasting System 1/4/10

1. "Picking Up Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene]
2. "Unknown" - Unknown - Shanghai Jazz
3. "F" - So - So
4. "Lock Stock and Teardrops" - Roger Miller - King of the Road
5. "Haunt Me" - Arab Strap - The Red Thread [Matador]
6. "Get Back Satan" - Reverend Roger L. Worthy and His Sister Bonnie Woodstock - Fire in My Bones [Tompkins Square]
7. "Unknown" - Unknown - Caucasia, Crossroads of East and West [Airmail]
8. "Rock and Roll Sermon" - Elder Beck - Fire in My Bones [Tompkins Square]
9. "Double Lock Your Mind" - Oneida - Anthem of the Moon [Jagjaguwar]
10. "Thung Kwian Sunrise" - Thai Elephant Orchestra - Thai Elephant Orchestra
11. "Unknown" - Unknown - Latvia: Music of Solar Rites
12. "It's a Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl" - Faust - So Far
13. "From the Side of the Machine" - Tony Conrad and Faust - Outside the Dream Syndicate [Table of the Elements]
14. "Father, I Stretch My Arm to Thee" - Reverend G.W. Killens and Mt. Calvary Congregation - Fire in My Bones [Tompkins Square]
15. "Thung Kwian Sunrise" - Thai Elephant Orchestra - Thai Elephant Orchestra
16. "Lay Lady Lay" - Pete Drake - ... and His Talking Steel Guitar
17. "You Without Sin Cast the First Stone" - Isaiah Owens - Fire in My Bones [Tompkins Square]
18. "The First Mrs. Jones" - Smiley Bates - True Stories from Life's Other Side
19. "Black Diamond Express to Hell (Part 1)" - Rev. A.W. Nix - Goodbye Babylon [Dust-to-Digital]
20. "I Ride an Old Paint, I Ride an Old Paint" - Johnny Cash - Mean as Hell [Bear Family]
21. "Lay Lady Lay" - U.S. Maple - Purple on Time [Drag City]
22. "J'ai passe devant ta porte" - Cleoma Falcon - Prends Donc Courage
23. "Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]

71. Facebook and the Apocalypse (Lungfish Live at North Six, Brooklyn, 9.18.04)

Anders Haley is still in the basement of Holman Hall. It's a good thing thing they just restocked the vending machines!

Mary Yount, Cooper Billick and 7 others like this.

Theo Lammer Man cannot live on Twix alone...
Peter Torrant It'll do in a pinch
Anders Haley LOL


Anders Haley So it looks like it was just a 10-megaton device they dropped on Rochester. What, we don't rate a 50?

View all 12 comments.

Laurie Pelham @Tony: C'monb man, not cool...
Tony Hamm I'm just saying, the world desrves a rest from our activities


Anders Haley Sick of Twix, gonna switch up to Kit Kats

Anders Haley My dollar bills are all crumpled up
Mary Yount I hate that


Anders Haley is wondering how it looks up there!

Thomas Dammer It looks like Baltimore
Anders Haley Remember that movie where they nuked Blatimore and you said "how ocould they tell if anyone nuked Baltimore?"
Peter Torrant It's horrible


Laurie Pelham is now single.


Cooper Billick

Astrology - Today's Taurus Horoscope
Here is your Today's Taurus Horoscope
You're going through some changes today and not all of them are perfectly comfortable. It's one of those days when you ought to just coast along and let life take you where it's going.
Lucky Color:Shadow Black
Lucky Number:28
Lucky Time of Day:11am
2 hours ago via Astrology · Comment · Like Unlike · Get Your Horoscope


Anders Haley if you want to get in touch with me shoot me an email the phone's dead


Tony Hamm is now single.

Mary Yount Tony no!
Jeffrey Goldschmidt : (


Anders Haley never thought I would say it but I'm sick of chocolate

Thomas Danner likes this.


Anders Haley There's nothing on the radio I would even listen to Lady Gaga right now


Anders Haley became a fan of Alvin The Chipmunk Has a Deeper Voice than Justin Bieber, I Was Expecting More Zombies! and One Thousand Strong for Rebuilding Civilization on the Platonic Model


Anders Haley > Mary Yount Happy Birthday, Murray! : )

Anders Haley Mary?


Anders Haley When I was a kid I always thought this would be a lot cooler, like, I saw Red Dawn and thought I would be a Wolverine. Instead I'm stuck in the basement and all the otrrent sites are down so I can't even downlaod any movies and if I watch Dumba nd DUmberer again Im gonna die. I tried tto leave yesterday and it looks like the door is blocked by...

See more


Anders Haley mery christmas


Anders Haley Who wants to rign in the new Year on Skype

Cooper Billick likes this.
Anders Haley Coope4r! get on aimi
Anders Haley Cooper get on aim


Anders Haley found a Lost Dog on the Street! It doesn't have tags but it looks like he's well-fed and somebody loved him very much! Help him give it a wonderful home in City Life!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

70. The Broadcasting System 12/28/09

If someone could do me a favor: I don't know if the filesplitter I'm using is rendering the files un-joinable to the masses. If anyone could tell me if s/he can't rejoin the files upon downloading, I'd be appreciative. I'm using Ashampoo to do it.

1. "Picking Up Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]
2. "Music" - Neil Hamburger - Left for Dead in Malaysia [Drag City]
3. "Innocent Little Doggie" - George Coleman - Bongo Joe
4. "Dog Trot" - Moondog - The Viking of Sixth Avenue
5. "Apollo" - OMD - Junk Culture
6. "(untranslated Chinese Song)" - Unknown - Unknown
7. "Too Late" - Wire - Chairs Missing [EMI]
8. "Drastic Classicism" - Rhys Chatham - Die Donnergotter [Table of the Elements]
9. "It is Narrow Here" - Eric Zann - Ouroborindra [Ghost Box]
10. "Dance from Rize on the Black Sea" - Unknown - Songs and Dances from Turkey [Folkways]
11. "Among my Souvenirs" - Vernon Dalhart - Original Recordings - Mister '78
12. "Twin guitar rhodes viola drone" - Keith Fullerton Whitman - Antithesis [Kranky]
13. "Shamas-ud-doha, Badar-ud-doja" - Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - Shahen-Shah [Real World]
14. "Surrender to the Night" - Trans Am - Surrender to the Night [Thrill Jockey]
15. "Threshold" - Eric Zann - Ouroborindra [Ghost Box]
16. "The Farmer's Dream" - Frank Ferreira - Victrola Favorites [Dust-to-Digital]
17. "Avocado Orange" - David Grubbs - The Coxcomb [Drag City]
18. "D" - Codeine - Frigid Stars [Sub Pop]
19. "unknown Chinese vocalist" - Unknown - Unknown
20. "The Cuckoo" - Pelt - Ayahuasca
21. "Voolas" - Eric Zann - Ourobindros [Ghost Box]
22. "House on Fire" - Moonshake - Dirty and Divine [C/Z]
23. "Crumbling Down" - Polvo - Exploded Drawing [Merge]
24. "Too Far Gone" - My Dad is Dead - The Taller You Are The Shorter You Get
25. "Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]

69. My Internet Snack with Slender Man (Big Black Rarities)

crazywigglyarms86: sup
steelydanphanroxx: hello.
crazywigglyarms86: sup
steelydanphanroxx: to whom am i typing.
crazywigglyarms86: check out my name
steelydanphanroxx: yeah man, that's pretty neat. who is this.
crazywigglyarms86: woooooooooo look out your window
steelydanphanroxx: what.
crazywigglyarms86: i'm outside your window
steelydanphanroxx: no you're not. there's nothing out there. there's a bird.
crazywigglyarms86: what kinda bird
steelydanphanroxx: a black bird. a crow.
crazywigglyarms86: a spooky crow
steelydanphanroxx: no a crow.
crazywigglyarms86: my evil minyun
steelydanphanroxx: what.
crazywigglyarms86: evil minyun
steelydanphanroxx: do you mean 'minion?'
crazywigglyarms86: no fag
steelydanphanroxx: because 'minyun' isn't a word.
crazywigglyarms86: fag
steelydanphanroxx: is that you colin?
crazywigglyarms86: no
crazywigglyarms86: this is SLENDERMAN
steelydanphanroxx: no way!
crazywigglyarms86: way
steelydanphanroxx: really.
crazywigglyarms86: yeah man check out my aim name SLENDERMAN has crazy fucking arms
steelydanphanroxx: yeah.
crazywigglyarms86: im an eldritch motherfucker
steelydanphanroxx: that's cool.
crazywigglyarms86: don't get on my bad side mate
steelydanphanroxx: that's from that youtube.
crazywigglyarms86: yeah
steelydanphanroxx: that's funny shit.
crazywigglyarms86: yeah
steelydanphanroxx: so what can i do for you.
crazywigglyarms86: kyle told me you had some big black b-sides
steelydanphanroxx: uh yeah.
crazywigglyarms86: are they spooky
steelydanphanroxx: no.
crazywigglyarms86: why not
steelydanphanroxx: big black was never spooky. i mean, they were kind of creepy sometimes in that serial killer way.
crazywigglyarms86: i love serial killers
steelydanphanroxx: whatever floats yer boat, man.
crazywigglyarms86: so can i have them
steelydanphanroxx: what?
crazywigglyarms86: the b-sides
steelydanphanroxx: i guess
crazywigglyarms86: woooooooooooooooooo
steelydanphanroxx: hold on.
crazywigglyarms86: woooWOOOOOwooo
steelydanphanroxx: the fuck are you doing.
crazywigglyarms86: i'm scaring this guy
steelydanphanroxx: do you get paid for that?
crazywigglyarms86: no
steelydanphanroxx: me neither. ok:
crazywigglyarms86: fuck yah
steelydanphanroxx: so what else is going on?
crazywigglyarms86: nothing
steelydanphanroxx: SOG?
crazywigglyarms86 is offline.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

68. The Broadcasting System 12/14/09

1. "Picking Up Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]
2. "Tree House / School Bell (Part 1)" - Indian Ocean - Disco Not Disco 1
3. "Together Now" - Tricky - Nearly God
4. "Come On. Come On. (Don't Say Maybe)" - N.Y.C. Peech Boys - Dream White Island
5. "Satyagraha, Act I - Tolstoy/ Scene 3 - The Vow" - Philip Glass - Satyagraha
6. "Babylon" - Dr. John - Babylon
7. "Persistent Repetition of Phrases" - The Caretaker - Persistent Repetition of Phrases
8. "Joseph Looney" - Ollie Gilbert - Southern Journey Vol. 4: Brethren We Have Met Again [Folkways]
9. "Black Dust" - Hala Strana - Hala Strana
10. "Sarakhobor-I-Rast" - Academy of Maqam - Invisible Face of the Beloved
11. "What Goes On" - Velvet Underground - Live 1969, Vol. 1
12. "Qui sedes ad dexteram patris" - Francis Poulenc - Gloria
13. "Rosy Retrospection" - The Caretaker - Persistent Repetition of Phrases
14. "Rugindir; Festive Chant" - Unknown - The Demonstration Collection of E.M. von Hornbostel and the Berlin Phonogram-Archiv [Folkways]
15. "Ghost Bitch/I'm Insane/Justice is Might" - Sonic Youth - Bad Moon Rising
16. "Ka'upena Wong / A Ko'olau au 'ike i ka ua" - Unknown - Hawaiian Drum Dance Chants: Sounds of Power in Time [Folkways]
17. "Do The Mussolini (Headkick) (They Kill Him)" - Cabaret Voltaire - Methology '74/'78: The Attic Tapes
18. "Poor Enunciation" - The Caretaker - Persistent Repetition of Phrases
19. "Kerejing" - Arjasa, Western Kangean Island, 6/5/41 - Music for the Gods: The Fahnestock South Sea Expedition: Indones [Folkways]
20. "Mansion" - The Fall - This Nation's Saving Grace [Rough Trade]
21. "Men 2nd" - Wire - On Returning [EMI]
22. "Pushin'" - Pere Ubu - London Texas
23. "Peace Peace Peace" - Soul-Junk - 1951
24. "Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]

Saturday, February 6, 2010

67. The Broadcasting System, 12/7/09

In case you were wondering what these are, The Broadcasting System is my show over at WTJU, where I've been a DJ for the last, what, 15 years or so? You can listen live, call in, whatever. It happens on alternating Mondays from 1400-1600 (EST). There are a lot of really great shows there, so be sure to check the schedule. I wouldn't have been exposed to 1% of the music I love were it not for WTJU.

1. "Picking Up Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]
2. "Shakytriggerfinger" - Switchhitter - Framed! [Academy]
3. "The Eiger" - Oneida - The Wedding [Jagjaguwar]
4. "Fast Money Music" - Suicide - The Second Album
5. "Evangelist" - Ut - In Gut's House
6. "Dub" - Pylon - Hits
7. "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" - The Slits - Cut
8. "Germ Free Adolescents" - X Ray Spex - Germfree Adolescents
9. "Seasonata" - John V. - Sinfonia Psychedelica
10. "Dudes" - Sightings - Arrived in Gold, Arrived in Smoke [Load]
11. "Dungeon Master" - Quintron - These Hands of Mine [Bulb]
12. "God Bless America for What" - Swamp Dogg - Rat On!!
13. "Amen" - Rotary Connection - Rotary Connection
14. "Shake It Like a White Girl" - E.U - Livin' Large
15. "Trouble Funk Express" - Trouble Funk - Early Singles
16. "Trianguli" - John V. - Sinfonia Psychedelica
17. "Polio" - Pterodactyl - Pterodactyl [Brah]
18. "No Furture" - Rah Brahs - Whohm [Lovitt]
19. "Kamloops" - Flin Flon - A-Ok [TeenBeat]
20. "Dracula Mountain" - Lightning Bolt - Wonderful Rainbow [Load]
21. "Lovefingers" - Silver Apples - Silver Apples
22. "Extra CD Track" - Ultra Vivid Scene - Ultra Vivid Scene [4AD]
23. "Bauchredner" - Gastr del Sol - Upgrade and Afterlife [Drag City]
24. "Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]

Saturday, January 30, 2010

66. The Broadcasting System 11/30/09

1. "Picking Up Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene!]
2. "Paris 1919" - John Cale - Paris 1919 [Elektra]
3. "My Baby's Taking Me Home" - Sparks - L'il Beethoven
4. "Kray Twins" - Renegade Soundwave - RSW 97-95
5. "The Number Song" - DJ Shadow - Endtroducing...
6. "Eric B. Is President" - Eric B. and Rakim - Paid in Full
7. "Wall Street" - Jackie Mittoo - The Keyboard King at Studio One
8. "Luminous Carcass Ornament" - Daniel Higgs - Atomic Yggdrasil Tarot [Thrill Jockey]
9. "I Am A Poor Wayfaring Stranger" - Almeda Riddle - Southern Journey Vol. 4: Brethren We Have Met Again [Smithsonian Folkways]
10. "Laminated Cat" - Loose Fur - Loose Fur [Drag City]
11. "I Am Born to Preach the Gospel" - Washington Phillips - Key to the Kingdom
12. "Werewolf Song" - Michael Hurley - Blueberry Wine [Smithsonian Folkways]
13. "The Last Word in Lonesome is Me" - Roger Miller - King of the Road
14. "Alexander II (Theme from Shaft)" - Horst Jankowski - Black Forest Explosion
15. "Black Steel (Acapella mix)" - Tricky - Maxinquaye
16. "Regicide" - Matmos - The Civil War [Matador]
17. "My Soul is a Witness" - Unknown - Negro Religious Field Recordings from Mississippi and Lousiana
18. "Il Duce" - Big Black - Il Duce 7"
19. "(It Won't Be Long) And I'll Be Hatin You" - Johnny Paycheck - Greatest Hits
20. "Cloak and Dagger" - Tommy McCook and Upsetters - Cloak and Dagger
21. "Sun Was High (So Was I)" - Best Coast
22. "Daydreaming So Early" - On Fillmore - Extended Vacation [Dead Oceans: 2009]
23. "Imagine That" - Patsy Cline - The Definitive Collection
24. "Be With Me Jesus" - Angola Quartet - Country Spirituals
25. "Always Fade" - Low - Drums and Guns [Sub Pop]
26. "Treefingers" - Radiohead - Kid A
27. "The Mermaid Song" - Bascom Lamar Lunsford - Ballads, Banjo Tunes and Sacred Songs of Western North Carolina
28. "Interference" - Trenchmouth - The Broadcasting System [Skene]

65. Voices from Possessed Children (Okkulte Stimmen. Recordings of Unseen Intelligences 1905-2007. 3xCD)

(I originally acquired this recording from the Allegory of Allergies blog. Go check it out.)

multiple values Typically rhythmic-melodic speech in a hebephrenic schizophrenic; Ecstatically emotive artificial language in a chronic paranoid; Sonorous artificial language (Schizophrenia); Sitting with 'Betty', rec. London, 1987

"The steak Diane s'il vous plait, Phillipe"

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one at recess. Many people play doctor at home, but nothing can take the place of a real doctor's advice."

"I told them they should get a divorce. It's been my opinion that they should have gotten divorced years ago. Why can't they think about the post traumatic stress syndrome."

"I realized at a very young age that

"It became glaringly obvious to me at a very young age that

"I knew from a very young age that I was to be

"Of course I want him to stay here, but I don't really know the protocol for a middle-aged man who a) doesn't know who I am anymore or is willfully ignoring the fact that he DOES know me; and b) when he DOES seem to know who I am, calls me 'Lieutenant.' Building a fort out of sofa cushions, that's great... when I do it. But when Dad barricades himself in his room, I don't know what to do. There it is: I don't know what to do. So I have to be an adult. All that on top of math homework, yeah, I am at the end of my rope."

multiple values Glossolalia - prophecies, Pentecost community, USA, 1960s; Glossolalia - Pentecostal Church, Oklahoma, USA 1980s

"* # Enter the R-2 Prime Cup's Master Ball division (you have to beat the first three divisions first).
# Assemble a team that contains a Pikachu that does not yet know Surf. You HAVE to use a Pikachu from your Game Boy game. You cannot unlock Surfing Pikachu using a Rental Pokmon.
# Do not register your team! Pick it directly from your Game Boy cartridge.
# You now have to beat the Prime Cup's Master Ball division using a three-Pokmon team that always contains Pikachu. Pikachu has to be in every one of the eight battles, but it doesn't actually have to battle.
# You are not allowed to use any continues. If you do, you won't get Surfing Pikachu. "

"TM 01 - Mega Punch
TM 02 - Razor Wind
TM 03 - Swords Dance
TM 04 - Whirlwind
TM 05 - Mega Kick
TM 06 - Toxic
TM 07 - Horn Drill
TM 08 - Body Slam
TM 09 - Take-Down
TM 10 - Double-Edge
TM 11 - BubbleBeam
TM 12 - Water Gun
TM 13 - Ice Beam
TM 14 - Blizzard
TM 15 - Hyper Beam
TM 16 - Pay Day
TM 17 - Submission
TM 18 - Counter
TM 19 - Seismic Toss
TM 20 - Rage" ...
[list continues for another ten pages - ed.]

multiple values Voices from possessed children I January 1978; Possessed children II, February 1978; Exorcism carried out on Anneliese M______, Germany 1976; Rita G____ as 'Russell', rec. Leicester, England 18.11.1983

"This is an important time for me, and I'm sorry, but I need to be selfish right now."

"Holla atcha boy on Facebook."

"Why *can't* I?"


"I just want to look young. If that means I have one facial expression a day, it's no skin off my ass. Anyway, skin off my ass, that's a different procedure. When I look young, I feel young."

"better off without me fucking things up, I always loved you and this is better than me

"time alone

"just tired

"So I tried the hot yoga, the Bikram stuff, for like a week and I still couldn't quit smoking so I'm signing up for this thing in Costa Rica where they put you in a coma for a week, two weeks and... No, I checked, the guy has a degree. And when you wake up you're past the whole thing and I'm going to ask if it might help with my co-dependancy as well. I mean, what's a couple of weeks in Nod if it can fix my

The loss of ; children being adults, adults being children.

"Wretched self-interest quickly dispels all the chimeras of the national will."

"The antipathy disappeared and turned into a completely exalted condition."

"A catechism with unctuous Solomon-like language the words of which rise gently like a dove chirp! chirp! to the regions of pathos and thunder-like aspects."

"All the dilettantism of thirty-five years of neglect."

Sunday, January 24, 2010

64. The Baby Vector (Scott Bradley - Soundtracks to Tex Avery Cartoons)

(impossible without Brunner)

the babies came at dawn, on their quiet padded feet. i woke up and looked out the bay window, weak coffee in hand. i saw them. they saw me. the coffee cup fell to the foor, in slow motion, shattering, over and over again. john williams.


what is it, cremins.

babies, sir.

no shit, 'babies.'

sir, i...

what, cremins.

i don't know if i can shoot a baby, sir.

well, i think you just point the gun and pull the trigger but i'm no expert, cremins, i've only been in the fucking army for seventeen years.


cremins, when they come up on you you better shoot.

they're babies, sir.

babies... yeah, they're babies. they are babies, cremins.


the ride was worse than he imagined. he never thought he would run over a baby, and not a dozen every block. not in the minivan, which he and carol (carol... i hope...) had bought when they were expecting.

expecting. he never expected this.


parson looked up from the floor with one eye, the other one a bloody rose of gore. the babies didn't notice. they were oddly quiet, sucking on their pacifiers. like a fucking anne geddes picture... one gurgled contendedly and rolled on his back. slowly, he removed the pacifier.

it wasn't a pacifier. it was a finger.

parson screamed and then he felt little bodies start to land on him, flump flump flump flump...


moscowicz wiped sweat from his eyes. it was hotter than hell here in the mainframe room, but it was hotter out there, where the babies were. if he could just download the RAM into the mainframe, he could...

oh god, he whispered.

what is it? said sasha.

fucking... jesus, he said.

the mainframe screen lit up with the face of a jolly baby. "ah ah ah! ga ga ga! ah ah ah! gah gah gah!" it said. moscowicz heard a rising whine.

get out, sasha!

the room exploded.


sweating in the janitorial closet. my heart bursting through my ears. try to breathe quietly. but i'm safe. i know i am. cause they can't open the door. they can't open the door. they can't...

i looked at the handle. it was jiggling.

i stood up and looked through the small window. a pyramid of babies. roly poly. deadly. and on top, a baby teetering, reaching for the handle. only the fact that his hands were slick with blood kept him from getting a grip.


the baby hit the ground the same time i did, but got up just a little faster, motherfucker bounced, looks like. next i know the motherfucker has a knee to my throat and he's riding me like a bronco. stephanie, i thought. stephanie. i tried, honey.